


Not Ready to Say Goodbye

by babycrowshouyou



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: But also a tiny bit of angst I guess?, Fluff, Graduation, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2016-04-02
Packaged: 2018-05-30 19:02:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6436579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babycrowshouyou/pseuds/babycrowshouyou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Akaashi just doesn't feel like he can say goodbye just yet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Ready to Say Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> I know the graduation thing is getting old but it's coming soon and I'm not ready so here, I wrote this at 4 in the morning after listening to some sad music. Also, I'm sorry for the choppiness of it, I'm really out of practice with writing, but I'm hoping to get into it more.

Cool air brushed across his cheeks, bringing a rosy glow to the surface. Faint hints of the warm summer approaching appeared in the regrowth of the nature around him as he walked home alone, which was something he had not done since the middle of his first year in high school. He silently thought back to the graduation ceremony he sat through not too long ago, which was lovely, yet heartbreaking. He thought of the many tearful parents, watching their children accept the piece of paper that declared them to officially be done with high school and take the first step toward independence and adulthood. Akaashi bowed his head quietly as he continued home, choosing not to dwell on the event, nor who was participating in it. He of course congratulated his captain, his best friend, his crush, on graduating; he was proud, that much was obvious, but this meant he was leaving soon… and leaving Akaashi behind. This much was evident even now as he walked alone, already missing the constant chatter that was always directed at him, constantly filling his ears and his thoughts, leaving him with no room to think of anything else. Now, however, his own thoughts were the only things filling his head, and most of them were about his loud-mouthed, easily excitable, dorky, adorable captain.

He finally got home, barely containing the tears that were threatening to spill over at the realization that soon, he would be entirely without his best friend, soon, his best friend might find a new best friend to replace him while attending university, soon, it was all coming so soon. He barely managed to get his shoes off at the door before the first traitorous tear escaped captivity and slipped down his chilled cheek, burning a trail of misery and loneliness in its wake. He hurried up to his room, grateful for his parents’ busy work schedules as it allowed him to let out the sobs that he could feel trying to tear him apart from the inside. He wasn’t ready to be alone, wasn’t ready to have to become as close to someone as he was to Bokuto, wasn’t ready for any of it. He sobbed into his pillow, trying to muffle himself at least a little so the neighbors wouldn’t hear him.

After a few minutes of letting himself express his sorrow, a soft buzz from his pocket caught his attention and pulled him away from his misery enough to wipe his eyes and nose on the backs of his hands and arms, leaving unsightly trails of snot across his forearms. He sniffled loudly as he pulled his phone out from his pocket and almost started sobbing again when he saw a text message from Bokuto, asking him if he and his parents wanted to join him and his family for dinner tonight, to celebrate his graduation. How could Akaashi say no? He replied with a simple confirmation, and added that he would ask his parents when they got home from work. Bokuto’s quick reply of an excited emoticon was enough to almost get Akaashi to smile. Almost.

Later that night, he and his parents were sitting at a large table in a nice restaurant, speaking with Bokuto and his parents about Bokuto’s plans for life after high school, of which Akaashi wanted to hear none. He was barely keeping it together as it was, and sitting right next to his friend was making it so much more difficult. The conversation slowly moved on to a different topic, finally allowing Akaashi to breathe again and look up from the spot at the top of his glass that he had been staring intently at for the past ten minutes or so. However, as he looked over at Bokuto, he was met with beautiful golden eyes full of worry, and possibly a little bit of fear. It was subtle, but Akaashi had always been one to notice Bokuto’s eyes and how they always betrayed what he was feeling. They were the eyes he fell in love with after watching them fill with determination and focus and then pure joy when Akaashi set the perfect ball to Bokuto and he spiked it down over the net, past the three blockers trying to prevent their team from gaining yet another point in the first official game they played together in Akaashi’s first year. After that moment, he was positive that all he wanted from that point on was to make sure that the beautiful, warm, pure joy shining from Bokuto’s eyes was directed at him as often as possible. This expression, however, was not one that Bokuto often wore, and it surprised Akaashi a bit. He frowned, wanting to ask his friend what was causing the light in his eyes to dim, but was fully aware that it was a conversation better left for when they were alone. Instead, he shifted his gaze a bit to focus on Bokuto’s eyebrows and tried to smile softly as he spoke.

“Congratulations, Bokuto-san. It was a lovely graduation ceremony.” He kept his voice at a low volume, so he didn’t interrupt the conversation their parents were having about missing when they were young children. Bokuto smiled wide, but it was still evident to Akaashi that it was forced.

“Thanks, Akaashi! I’m glad you got to be there, and I’m sorry I couldn’t walk home with you like usual; mom and dad wanted to get pictures of me with my diploma.” He chuckled a bit after admitting that, and rubbed his neck in embarrassment. Akaashi smiled, a bit more sincere this time.

“That’s nothing to be embarrassed of, Bokuto-san; your parents are very proud of you. I’m proud of you, too.” At this, Bokuto perked up a bit, some of the light returning to his eyes to help wash away the worry that was clouding them moments ago as he smiled happily.

“You’re proud of me, Akaashi?? Really??” This time, Akaashi smiled fully, allowing it to reach his eyes.

“Of course. You’re my best friend, and graduating high school is a huge accomplishment. Anyone would be proud of that.” Relief settled in his stomach as he watched Bokuto return to his normal self in a matter of seconds, and suddenly he was talking Akaashi’s ear off like always. Akaashi planned on asking him about the worry he had seen in Bokuto’s eyes, but now wasn’t the time for that. Now was the time for celebration and happiness, not worry and tears.

Akaashi didn’t end up questioning Bokuto about his worry until a few days later, while they were spending their Saturday out on the grass of a nearby park, eating ice cream and talking about past volleyball games. The conversation had been going nicely until Akaashi noticed that same worry and fear creeping back up into Bokuto’s eyes, and this time, there was no worry of parents overhearing him ask him about it.

“Bokuto-san, what’s bothering you?” He asked quietly, bringing Bokuto to a halt as he had been about to launch into a conversation about new volleyball shoes. He looked up at Akaashi and smiled, although it was not convincing.

“Huh? Nothing’s wrong, Akaashi, why do you ask?” Akaashi sighed, knowing he would deny any sort of negative emotions.

“Bokuto-san, you know I know when you’re lying; your eyes say it all.” He looked up at his golden-eyed friend, waiting patiently for a real answer. Bokuto sighed and chuckled softly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Y’know, Akaashi, it’s kinda weird how easily you can read me… I mean, it’s really cool, but it makes it hard to hide stuff from you.” He chuckled again lightly before continuing, his smile fading a bit, but not disappearing completely. “I guess… I guess I’m just scared. I’m scared of leaving, scared of having to meet new people in a new setting, and I’m scared of leaving you.” He looked up at Akaashi, smiling sadly. “That last one is what I’m scared about the most. You’re the only one who really gets me, Akaashi. I mean, Kuroo’s great, but you know how to deal with my mood swings, my weaknesses, and you know how to keep me mostly grounded. You’re my setter, my best friend… I’m just not quite sure what I’m gonna do without you always there, to be honest.” He looked down, the smile completely gone now. Akaashi’s breath hitched in his throat as he took it all in, and it wasn’t until Bokuto looked up and a look of panic crossed his features that he realized he had started to cry.

“W-wait, Akaashi, don’t cry! Ah, I’m sorry! Was that too much?? I didn’t mean to!” Instead of telling Bokuto to calm down, or hitting him to get the same message across, Akaashi quickly launched himself at him, tackling him down onto his back in the grass they were sitting on in a tight, desperate hug. While initially surprised at his sudden physical affection, Bokuto relaxed and gently wrapped his arms around Akaashi, letting him cry into his shirt as he stroked his shaking back. After managing to gather some composure, Akaashi slowly looked up at his friend, his source of joy, and sniffled softly before trying to smile a little.

“I’m going to miss you so much, Bokuto-san… So, so much.” He voice was a bit scratchy from crying, and it caused Bokuto to tear up as well. He hated seeing his best friend like this, torn apart because of him. He reached up and gently wiped away the tears still present on Akaashi’s cheeks before gently cupping both of them in his warm hands and gently pulling Akaashi’s head down so that he could press his lips, chapped from the occasional lingering chill of winter, to his forehead. Akaashi’s eyes fluttered closed momentarily, a feeling of warmth engulfing his entire body just from that one display of affection. He sighed softly before opening his eyes again to meet the eyes of his cherished friend, and smiled softly.

“Thank you for calming me down, Bokuto-san.” He was a bit surprised as a pink flush started to crawl across Bokuto’s features and his golden eyes flitted from his eyes to his mouth to the sky above his head and back again, in a continuous confused circle. Akaashi tilted his head a bit questioningly, wondering if the mild heat was already getting to Bokuto. It wasn’t listed as one of his weaknesses, however, more were added almost every day. Maybe this was just a new one. However, his questioning was proved wrong when Bokuto finally focused solely on his lips and Akaashi subconsciously found himself biting lightly on his bottom one, causing the flush across Bokuto’s face to grow redder.

“U-uh, Akaashi, I have a confession… I feel so stupid saying this now, with me leaving so soon, but I gotta say it now or I’m gonna explode. I really like you, Akaashi, and I would like to date you. I know that long distance is hard to deal with, and I know it doesn’t usually work out, but I’m willing to try it if you-” Akaashi quickly cut off his rambling by pressing his lips to Bokuto’s, his heart racing as he took in what he just said. Bokuto liked him, it wasn’t just a one-sided crush, Bokuto wanted to be with him… How had he never noticed Bokuto felt his way? Akaashi always knew what he was thinking or feeling. Dwelling on that, however, was taking away from the joy of what was currently happening. Akaashi smiled as Bokuto’s words trailed off as he started to kiss him back, and it was a slow, sweet kiss that, after pulling away, left both of them wanting more, but also left them satisfied. Bokuto beamed excitedly, understanding what this meant.

“So that’s a yes? You’ll go out with me, Akaashi?” Akaashi chuckled softly at the joy shining brightly in Bokuto’s golden eyes, and remembered how much he desired to be the focus of that joy for so long.

“Of course, Bokuto-san. I’m willing to try to make long-distance work, as long as it’s with you.” He stroked Bokuto's flushed cheek gently with the tips of his fingers, smiling wider as he noticed something else flash as an undertone to the joy in Bokuto’s eyes: love.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to come cry with me about bokuaka on [tumblr](http://chrisssenpai.tumblr.com), or come scream about how adorable Yamaguchi is, or just come scream with me about Haikyuu!! in general. I enjoy screaming.


End file.
